"Canadian grocery giant Safeway has issued a recall on it's pre-packed romaine lettuce mixture, causing lazy salad-makers everywhere to absolutely vomit uncontrollably with anger. Apparently it's super hard to wash vegetables, and some e-coli has stumbled into your fridge. 'Shitty' deal fuckers, shoulda bought a god damn knife set and cut it yourself. I guess the 'colourful' in the product description applies to the many interesting hues you'll see in the toilet if you eat this filth and shout for ruth. Really though?"
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