Ja Who?

"Ja Rule pleaded guilty to tax evasion on $3 million. Did you really think that just because the general public has forgotten about you that the IRS would too? Really though?"

This Picture Says Two Words 'Rape Me'

"Following the sentencing of a Manitoba man in a case of sexual assault, it appears that rapists have a new defense. It's called the "she was asking for it" defense. According to the judge conducting the trial, when a man raped a 26 year old woman, it was not entirely the perpetrators fault. Apparently the woman was dressed in a sexually inviting manner, putting her partially to blame for her own attack. Apparently no no longer means no if you dress like a ho. Really though Judge Dewar? Really?"

Hello, My Name is Facebook

"When it comes to naming their children, parents can sometimes be cruel. Kids all over the world are walking around with names like Blue Angel or Satchel. But a man in Egypt stepped up the crazy baby name game a notch when he decided to name his daughter after Facebook. When asked why he chose the name he replied, 'Myspace and Tumblr were taken and I always thought Google was more of a boys name anyways'. I have two things to say to this family. Good luck Facebook, and really though?"

It's smarter than you... What is Watson?

"Watson is IBM's latest supercomputer. Recently, Watson has competed on Jeopardy...and won. I know, it was shocking. I mean a computer that's smarter than a person? Who saw that one coming? Come on people, did you really think you stood a chance? Really though?"

Happy Birthday, Mr. President..

"Due to food shortages the celebrations for Kim Jong Il's 69th birthday are being cutback. In previous years the North korean leader has marked the occasion by handing out lollies and rice rations to people. But this year many people are starving without the rice or corn handouts so that Kim can get that fancy ten speed he's been wanting since his 7th birthday. The shouldn't complain though because next year Kim's turning 70 and the way things are going not only will people's food rations be cut back, but the first born in every family will be sold to finance his first ever surprise party. Really though?"

And Parent of the Year Goes To...

"Billy Ray Cyrus has recently told reporters that he is proud to say he has never made a dime off his daughter. Really Billy? You're proud of not exploiting your daughter and selling her out? My parents didn't make any money off of me but you don't hear them bragging about it. Really though?"

Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife, hide yo' ELEPHANTS?!

"Bob Barker is stealing our elephants. You read that right. The former Price is Right host is calling for the Toronto Zoo's 3 elephants to be moved to a sanctuary in California to get them out of our cold Canadian winters. He has already been involved in the removal of Edmonton's one elephant 'Lucy', and now he's after Ontario. I understand though. Clearly he's concerned about global warming and afraid that the year-round igloos we built to house the elephants will melt soon. Really though Bob?"