"Due to food shortages the celebrations for Kim Jong Il's 69th birthday are being cutback. In previous years the North korean leader has marked the occasion by handing out lollies and rice rations to people. But this year many people are starving without the rice or corn handouts so that Kim can get that fancy ten speed he's been wanting since his 7th birthday. The shouldn't complain though because next year Kim's turning 70 and the way things are going not only will people's food rations be cut back, but the first born in every family will be sold to finance his first ever surprise party. Really though?"
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